Superman
by magnipisika16
Summary: He was always known to be a hero... But, what if he doesn't want to be anymore? "Rest in peace, buddy." - Slight Mangapalletshipping.


_*Note: Blue=boy, Green=girl_

_**To Red, the Superman who always reminded me I'm only human… Thank you. **_

_**Oh, and to the guy/s who wrote the song "Superman" by Five for Nothing, to which this story was based from.**_

**SUPERMAN-**

She stood at the podium, levelled the microphone down to her pressed lips, and then took a deep breath.

"Red was one of the best things that ever happened to me," she started, an evident choke making its way through her small voice. "He was selfless… loving… brave…" Tears were already forming in her already-flaming eyes, and she tried so crudely to wipe them away.

"He was my friend… my loved one… my reason…" She couldn't hold it in. Her small frame was trembling, and her breathing began to get harder. She was about to burst, and they all knew it, but before she even did, she let those longing and desperate words escape her lips.

"He was my hero!"

It was all that she could take. In front of the people who stood at his wake, she bawled her eyes out. The older girl who was waiting behind her climbed up to lead her down, leaving the podium empty. Nobody else wanted to speak. They were all too busy hurting to even try. From where I stood, I scanned the handful of handful of people and was only able to make up a handful of familiar faces. Faces that were once so alive and radiant but were now laden with so much agony and despair. I returned my gaze at the grieving girl from before who was now being comforted by three more people aside from the older girl. Her words from just now were the most resounding from all those who spoke.

_A hero… _She called me a "hero".

Surely, she was mistaken.

Because if ever I was a hero, then she wouldn't be crying. _None _of them would be grieving.

For heroes don't die.

They're role in the story, after all, is to always save the day. They don't cause the pain, they relieve people from it. They're not selfish; they give, give and give some more until nothing is left for them.

That's what a hero is. Therefore, I'm no hero.

I've never been.

"I'll be going on, Pika…" I told the small pokemon beside me. It seemed to wake up from his trance and turned to look at me with worried eyes. I sighed and knelt in front of him.

"I thought we talked about this, buddy?" I laid my hand on his head, and tousled it a bit. "I'd want you to come with me—you know I do—but…" I made him follow my gaze so that we'd both be staring at the other small, yellow rodent with a flower by its ear, looking up at it grieving master.

"But Chuchu needs you… They _all _need you…" The little creature stared sharply back at me as if to say: "Speak for yourself, fool…"

I gave out a bitter smile.

"The other fellas' are already roaming about. They didn't give me a hard time like what you're doing."

Who was I kidding? _Of course _they all gave me a hard time letting them go. I even had to hide from the others just so they'd let me go and move on.

So they're all gone.

All except Pika.

"Come on, buddy," I softly pleaded. "Don't make this harder than it needs to be…"

Pika stared at me, like he wanted to say more things but was hesitant to spit them out for my mind was already set. That, and because he couldn't speak verbally. He didn't have to, anyway, for I knew what was on his mind.

"Sorry, buddy…"

Wordlessly, Pika just nodded, turned his back on me, and trotted towards the dark-clothed group of people. To Chuchu…

To where he belonged.

I watched the heartfelt reunion for a while before I turned around again and went on my way, ignoring the upturning knots that were forming inside me, making me want to throw up.

Just like that, I was all alone. Like how I wanted.

Don't take the wrong idea. Pika's not experiencing some sort of paranormal activity.

I'm still alive.

No, scratch that.

I'm still breathing… But I wouldn't say that I'm actually "alive". It's been a long while since I last felt alive.

So who were they grieving for out there, you might ask?

It was still me.

Yeah, that's right…

I faked my own death for the sake of my own sweet escape. But now, I'm beginning to realize that there was nothing sweet about this. Everything was plain bitter, but I guess I have no other choice.

I told myself I would never back down from this—never look back, not even once—and besides, I think I've already reached that point of no return.

And I best be going before I realize otherwise…

"Red?"

Shit.

"Red? Is that really you?"

I wanted to run in that particular moment. It didn't matter who it was or how many were there behind me. Perhaps if I made a run for it, they'd think I was just an apparition.

But, then they'd give chase.

Stiffly, I turned around, hoping it was neither Yellow, nor Green, nor Misty…

And, golly, it was Blue. He looked shocked as he eyed me from head to toe, trying to ensure to himself if I was real.

But, of course, he'd take me for real. He was never the one who believed in supernatural things anyway.

I didn't know what to say to him, so I just resorted to staring him down as well.

He looked absolutely dishevelled. Perhaps it was from the fatigue of leading the search party when I was still in the state of "lost-but-presumed-dead", and from staying up all night for the past five days, trying to fix whatever it is he had left behind.

"No freaking way…" he breathed, looking at me with such an astounded expression I've never seen him made in my entire life. But, then it transformed into a scowl as he put Pika down, and everything felt normal again.

So he was with Pika. Figures.

"Speak," he said. I just stared at him as if I was a child guilty of stealing a cookie being asked for an explanation by his mother.

"Speak," he repeated, a little louder. "Explain yourself…"

"Golly, Blue," I replied with a sarcastic smirk. "I don't know where to start…"

"How about telling me the reason why you faked your own freaking death? That's a good start…"

I averted my stare from his questioning green eyes, feeling like I was being destroyed by something. Perhaps, by his suppressed rage…

"I didn't," I finally answered. His eyes narrowed into slits. He didn't like my answer.

"What does that suppose to mean?"

"I meant exactly that, Blue." I turned my back at him in an attempt to avoid him. "I don't need to fake my own death for I really _am _dead."

His answer was a furious fist that fired itself towards my face, sending me flying to a nearby tree.

Dang, that hurt.

"Now," I hear Blue say, tending his bruised knuckles as he approached me. "The _real _reason…"

I lifted my fingers to where his fist met my face and rubbed it gently. That could leave a mark…

"Geez, Blue, what _kind _of reason are you expecting of me exactly?"

"The kind of reason that would give justice to _that_." He gestured towards the direction in which he came from.

"Have you any idea how much everybody's been hurting, believing that you were actually _gone_?! Red, they're all crying their hearts out there… I mean, look at Yellow; she's been emotionally unstable since day one. Green's been dazed. Misty… Don't even _make _me talk about what happened to her… I thought you cared about them? About _all of us_…"

"None of that matters now," I found myself mumble, and then immediately bit my tongue for doing so. Blue stared at me like in I was an imbecile, and in that moment, I felt like I really was.

"None of that _matters _now?!" he recurred, grabbing me by the collar. "What kind of fucking answer is that?! They believe in you, Red, and with you gone, then there's no one for them to lean upon. Doesn't _that_ matter? What about Pallet Town? You said you'd protect this place with your _life_. Doesn't _it _matter? Yellow and Misty, they're madly _in love _with you, more than you could think, and the thought of you gone is breaking them both in ways you could never understand. Don't _they _matter? Pika, Red… He's been with you through thick and thin. He's like your _family _for damn's sake. Doesn't _he _matter?"

Shakily, he let his hold grow loose, and bit his lip.

"And what about me?" he softly uttered, straightening himself. "I'm your bestfriend… I've always made an effort to understand you in my own way, even up until now… don't I matter?"

I chose not to speak. He need not remind me of what kind of jerk I was being. I was well aware of it myself.

But, are a few gallons of tears that would last for a fairly short time be enough as payment for what I want to achieve? Well, what _am I _trying to achieve anyway?

When I first fully formulated this plan and considered all the risks and consequences, it was all clear to me. But now that I'm being questioned for it, I found myself at lost.

"At least answer me, Red. Make me understand why."

I felt my stomach churn at the thought of trying to explain this to somebody else but me. But, then again, he was _Blue_. Hot-headed at times, but next to Pika, he's the only one who could understand the things I aim to mean. We were on the same train of thought, after all.

"Hey, Blue?" I whispered, curling myself up in an attempt to ease the pain situating itself in my body, eating away my insides. "Did you hear Yellow's eulogy? Just now? Do you remember what she called me on the latter part of it?"

He looked at me like I was crazy, but he complied.

"She called you a 'hero'…" he answered.

"Well, do you see me as one?" I asked him.

He stared at me uncertainty, but nodded nonetheless.

"I always have," he confessed. "You are, after all, always compelled by selfless ideas—crazy, but selfless, like how a hero should be."

"Really…" I breathed, looking to my sides.

"Yes. Why Red? You never saw yourself as such?"

I shook my head.

"You were always willing to take a bullet for the sake of others you don't even know… what else would you call yourself?"

"A masochist or something like that," I answered. "I find it funny, actually, to see how everyone seems to give such high regards of me when I am really nothing but…"

I hiccupped, and subsequently lifted my lower arm towards my face to cover it. Just in time. Tears were already brimming from my weary eyes.

"But a pathetic idiot who lives with no meaning" was what I wanted to say.

"Hey," I heard him call out, a bit softer now. I took a deep breath and tried to stare at him, even though the thought of him seeing me like this was burying my pride alive.

He knelt in front of me and rested his calloused hand on my shoulder.

"Whatever you think you are, you're more than that…" He bit his lip and sighed. "Now, tell me why you want to leave…"

"I wanted to find that part of me that will believe what all of you are claiming that I am…"

He looked at me like he wasn't convinced, but he nodded anyway. I thought I was saved from his litany, but…"

"But, Red, you're… _You're _the _hero, _even if you don't believe you are, and this town needs its hero. It needs _you_."

"Maybe I don't want to be the hero anymore, Blue… I just want to be 'Red'. You know… A _normal _guy… Someone who sleeps from and wakes up to normal worries… Who trains his pokemon be_cause_ he wanted to… Who lives with no pressure coming from those around him… who can love into hatred, and hate into love… _Just _that kind of guy… Not… Not _this!_" I gestured to myself and hoped he get my point.

"But I can't do that if I'm already embedded with this fate I so wrongly desired as a child, can I?" I softly added.

Silence. He just stared at the ground, letting me watch him feel and looked confused. I wondered if it was right for me to think this way, especially in front him, he going through his own troubles and all that.

"But, of course," I heard him mumble under his breath. "Even heroes have the right to bleed, no?"

I stared at him as I rose to my feet, not taking our eyes off each other.

"And dream…" he continued. "And believe… and complain… and be treated as a normal human being…" He bit his lips, and then sighed.

"Sorry."

I watched him stare back at me slowly, slightly apprehended by his sudden blow of words.

"There's no way I could stop you, is there?" he asked again after a few seconds of being speechless.

I sadly shook my hand.

"But don't worry," I reassured him. "Even if I am gone, I'm pretty sure Pallet Town will be alright… I mean, it still has you—_All _of you 'Dex Holders… Just don't overdo it like I did, and you'll be fine."

I tried to smile like I always did; hoping it could ease whatever was building up between us. But all I afforded to do was make it worse.

"I'm sorry, Blue… Sorry to everyone…" I slowly turned my back at him and tried to move forward. But I was stopped by him again.

"Before you go," he said, walking towards me, with Pika tailing behind him. He picked him up and handed him to me. "At least bring him with you."

"Blue, I…"

"Don't worry, I'll explain everything carefully to the others. Your secret's safe with me…"

I stared at him, bit my lip, and finally took Pika off his hands. For a moment, he seemed to have smiled.

"I guess this is it," he said.

"Rightly so," I responded.

Together, we turned our backs from each other, he facing the directions where the others were and me to where I'll find myself in the near future for my own decisions.

Parting ways never felt this complicated before.

I was already a handful of steps away when he called after me again.

"Hey, Red," he said. I turned to him to see him smile again.

"Rest in peace, buddy."

"Thanks, man. Will try my best."

As he turned his back one last time, I took in the image of him walking farther and farther from me, and saved it eternally within me. This may be the last time I see him. Them. The people who believed in this man who cloaked himself in a red sheet and flew out to try and save the world…

…only to realize that he needed to save himself first.

**-FIN-**

**I would like to dedicate this to those like me who are pressured into things that, sometimes, make them feel like they were condemned. Take it easy guys. We've all been there.**

"**Even heroes have the right to bleed, no?" –Blue **

**Well, that's all for now! Try to update with another PS fic soon. **

**Hope you liked it! Thank you so much for reading!**

**LoveLots~**


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